Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is narrow and the way is constricted that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Matthew 7:13-14
In this post, I want to talk about our identity in Christ and how that relates to developing emotional intelligence. The two gates that Jesus refers to in Matthew 7:13-14 reveal two paths. We can choose one of the two paths to walk on in this life. We can either go through the wide gate which leads to destruction or the narrow gate that leads to life. There are times, though, when we hop between the two gates because of our seasons. Many things happen throughout life, especially things we don’t expect. Yet, even in our most difficult or “less-fiery” seasons, I believe there’s a way to stick to the narrow gate that leads to life.
I believe when we commit to the narrow gate and follow the path that leads to life; we don’t leave it unless we willingly choose to. We often feel guilty for not doing the things we feel like we should be doing. For instance, we might feel guilty or shameful for missing a day of Bible reading or time in prayer. We might feel guilty or ashamed for missing a church service on Sunday. The list can go on.
Guilt and shame are often associated with condemnation. God condemns what is unholy, unrighteous, and sinful. Reading the Bible or going to church does not make us holy, righteous, or more pure in God’s eyes. These are the means to growing spiritually and in our relationship with Him. Jesus makes us holy, righteous, and blameless before God because of what He did on the cross. It’s not in our own doing that we are saved (Ephesians 2:8-9). However, the Holy Spirit convicts our hearts to live in a way that is pleasing to God. We must work through the guilty and shameful feelings by developing our emotional intelligence.
In part one, we talked about the Silver, Gold, and Platinum rules which help us understand and process our emotions and thoughts, especially when we’re treating others. In part two, I want to talk about processing our emotions and thoughts to align them with our new identity in Jesus that moves us away from feelings of guilt and shame.
There are two specific skills involved in developing our emotional intelligence. The first is self-awareness, which is recognizing and understanding your emotions. This helps us make the right choices throughout our lives. The second skill is self-regulation, or managing those emotions effectively (especially the negative ones). This strengthens or ruins our relationships. It’s about how we react to situations, treat others, and act on what we know to be right.
To develop these skills, we must understand the wide gate that leads to the path of least resistance and the narrow gate that leads to the path less taken.
The path of least resistance.
the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.
The wide gate leads to the path of least resistance. This path seems pleasant and attractive, but it leads to destructive behaviors and habits that, overtime lead to destruction. Most people choose this path for its ease of access and comfortability. This path is easier and faster to navigate. It’s wide enough to avoid obstacles and go around situations. There’s enough room in the ditches to suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions. It also has many lanes and little to no stoplights or other road signs to prevent unhealthy thoughts and emotion patterns. There’s room for sin and darkness to creep in.
We can liken the path of least resistance to our flesh, the old self, our past sinful nature. This is where non-believers live, the path they have chosen, unless they come to Christ. This is what we’re most familiar with because of what the world and darkness taught us. Every human is a sinner until Christ sets them free. But one of the strangest things we do as Christians is putting on the old self. We often bind ourselves up in fear, guilt, negative thoughts, shame, and even anxiety in our thoughts, allowing these beliefs to overtake our feelings and manifest through our daily habits. Even though we accepted Jesus as our Savior, we go back to our old selves as if the Holy Spirit won’t teach us how to be clothed in Christ. We choose the path of least resistance because it’s familiar and comfortable. To say it more practically, we opt in for what’s easiest and most beneficial for us at the moment.
Even though we don’t want to think these thoughts or feel these feelings and behave according to those thoughts and feelings, something in us can’t help but proceed. I believe that “something” has to do with our belief system. Our belief system has everything to do with our identity. The world systemized our beliefs, but when we follow Jesus, we must let the Holy Spirit align (or realign) our beliefs to His Word and according to His will. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, which is why we must get off the path of least resistance, the wide path of comfortability and familiarity, the path that leads to death and destruction, and choose the path less taken.
That may sound like it applies to our spiritual growth only, but this principle applies to every part of our lives. From our morning and evening routines to our life at work or home, the path of least resistance looks like taking the easy route or even living in auto-pilot. It’s obvious to associate the wide gate with people who don’t believe in God or follow Him, but we don’t always believe it can happen to us.
For example, if you’ve read my posts about mornings and routines, you might think it comes easy for me. It doesn’t. Waking up early and establishing effective routines is very difficult for me. For me, the wide gate that leads to destruction, the path of least resistance, would be to sleep in excessively (because I LOVE my sleep) and to go with the flow, procrastinating about the things God puts on my heart. I would also eat however I please, especially desserts, because of my sweet teeth (it’s not just a sweet tooth). But this path leads to destruction because of how severely it affects my health, hormones, and skin.
Not only that, but it also feeds the sin of laziness, gluttony, and disobedience. If I want an abundant life, I must go through the narrow gate, steward what God gives me, and obey Him through and through. This is my way of saying, God, I’m committed to you. That might not be the case for everybody, it looks different for everyone. The world and the enemy want to distract us from our relationship with God and our identity in Him. But when we choose the path less taken and commit to obeying God and His Word, it becomes easier and more rewarding long-term.
The path less taken.
the gate is narrow and the way is constricted that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
The narrow gate takes us to the path less taken. This path looks difficult and painful, but it brings us to healthy behaviors and helpful habits that ultimately lead us to a life of fulfillment. Few people choose the path less taken because it requires hard work and discomfort. It takes longer and its unfamiliar. This path requires us to face and overcome problems and address issues head on. It requires us to take every thought captive and to crucify our emotions to the cross.
We’re not dismissing or suppressing these thoughts or emotions because that will surface up later. But as we grow and develop our emotional intelligence, we learn how to process them where we can quickly take thoughts captive and realign our emotions to our belief in Jesus and who He called us to be. This is where the skill of self-awareness and self-regulation increases.
The path less taken reveals our identity in Christ the longer we journey through it. With the Word as a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path (Psalm 119:105), the Holy Spirit’s help and guidance into all truth (John 16:13, Romans 8:26), and our direct access to the Father and His love, we can grow in faith, strength, and assurance of who we truly are in Jesus Christ. Instead of putting on the old self, we can take it off and put on the new self, blameless and righteous, before God.
Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:17, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Yet, because we are creatures of habit, we often run back to our old carcass and try to fit into it. We pop out of the narrow gate and stumble through the wide gate because it’s easier. I want to remind you (and me) that we are no longer bound to sin, but are free in Christ. Even when we want to take on our old habits and flesh, we can fix our eyes on Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to keep us focused on the path we’re already on. By looking to His Word (the light and lamp for our feet), we can put one foot in front of the other and remain steadfast no matter how tight, dark, or uncomfortable this path gets.
As we walk along this path, we will make mistakes and slip up. But because we chose this path and do our best to stick to it, the Holy Spirit comforts us, showering us with His grace, mercy, and love. We are to be perfect in God, but only by His strength. We cannot do it on our own. Our weakness is a platform for His power (2 Corinthians 12:9). As I mentioned earlier, the Holy Spirit also convicts us. He will not guilt-trip us for missing time in the Word or in prayer, but He will convict our hearts when it’s been too long. Not to make us feel bad, but because He’s in the relationship, too. The more we ignore the conviction, the quieter His voice gets and the easier it is to willingly leave the path less taken, come out of the narrow gate and walk through the wide gate to the path of least resistance.
Conclusion
When we commit to a relationship with God, we commit to a purified lifestyle of reciprocated trust between us and Him, Him and us. As believers, we cannot sin unless we willingly do so. As new creations in Christ, we are made and continued to be made whole. Sin is a word, deed, or desire in opposition to God. Jesus conquered sin and death so that we would be free from all sin, shame, and guilt, able to walk on the narrow path by His grace and goodness!
So when we go through difficult times or less passionate seasons in our faith, we can still walk on the path less taken, taken through the narrow gate (Jesus Himself). We can process all thoughts, feelings, and emotions in a healthy way that is helpful in our new identity in Christ. How we develop emotional intelligence during our walk of faith will strengthen our understanding and belief of who we are in Christ. The more we renew our minds, take our thoughts captive, the more we’ll develop emotional intelligence. The more we develop it, the more skillful we’ll become at stewarding every thought, emotion, will, and behavior that we conceive or act on!
tanyaremkiv 
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